Okay, sorry for the communication blackout, but twas Christmas and new year....a time to celebrate, have fun, enjoy life, but most importantly get drunk... and now that i feel my liver has been restored to it's status-quo i can come back and bestow upon you the wealth of knowledge that i was blessed by upon viewing AVATAR.
AVATAR, this year's block buster, the epic and some people went on a limb and called it: the greatest movie of all time!
The movie, and believe me IS A MUST SEE, this is something you cannot miss, it is a great graphical experience but it ends here.
I hated the movie because it was so mentally handicapped that it was contagious. It takes us to a new planet (north America), where the main protagonist (John Smith) Jake sully (they even used the same initials, the bastards)is a marine who takes his deceased brothers place to become an avatar and to join a tribe of (red Indians) Aliens and attempt to become one of them but falls in love with (Pocahontas) the princess an eventually defies his people (the British) and becomes an alien. The rest is just filler...
I hope you got what is was trying to say in my earlier paragraph; I did not mind Pocahontas as a movie it was good with what it did but to take it to anothe planet was pushing the envelope too far!!!! But let us progress, the messages in this movie made me believe that it was financially backed up by al-gore (save the planet, do not cut trees)and OH MY GOD, the aliens had distinctive traits of both red-Indians and African-Americans to highlight the minority being crushed by imperialistic whitey. I wished they made a Jew-alien with a big nose and a Barbara Streisand voice... The characters were as likable as fish-flavored ice-cream (yummy i know) and you could relay to them as much affection as you could give a bar of used soap (yes i love you bubbles). But the most horrific thing was the sexual perversion: The AVATAR sticks his hair penis into everything from horsies (yes yes) to trees and alien fighter jets. Good God where was the director going: Yes The Alien must Fuck everything that breathes on the planet!!!
But what I hated more was the predictability of the story, you were always 10 minutes in front of the movie, when u saw the big red bird you knew he would take it, you knew the heroes would fall in love and you knew he'd change sides. the characters were taken from the great book of stereotypes so that u can hate then even more. And Finally The MOVIE IS TOO DAMN LONG! I walked out of it with my butt-cheeks fast asleep.
Again let us repeat Avatar brought nothing new story wise but it is still a must-not-miss movie because it will revolutionize the movie technology. I hated it for being Old in a new shell, hope you like it :P
Till next time Broseph out!
